“Nothing” is all they say about their day

Your child comes home or gets in the car, and you ask about their day. You get “Fine,” “Nothing,” or a shrug. You’re worried you’re missing something, and the more you ask, the more they pull away.

1. 1Take a breath and drop the pressure. A quiet answer isn’t a rejection.
2. 2Give them time. Many kids need to decompress before talking, so try a snack and some quiet first.
3. 3Ask different questions, like “What was the best part of today?” or “Who did you sit with at lunch?” instead of “How was school?”
4. 4Try talking while doing something side by side, such as driving, walking, or cooking. It can feel easier than face to face.
5. 5Share a little about your own day, and listen without jumping in with advice or fixes.
6. 6Let them know you’re available: “I’m here whenever you want to talk.”

• “No pressure. I’m here if you want to talk later.”
• “What was the best part of your day? What was the hardest?”
• “Want to tell me about something funny that happened?”
• “Thanks for telling me. I’m glad you did.”

Ages 6–8

Make it playful, such as “Tell me one good thing and one silly thing,” or talk about their day while drawing together.

Ages 9–12

Pick a regular, low-pressure time to chat, like the ride home or bedtime. Ask specific questions, and listen without correcting.

Ages 13–17

Respect their privacy and independence. Be available at times they choose, and listen more than you talk. Show interest without pushing.

1. 1At dinner or on the ride home, each person shares one high and one low from their day, starting with you.
2. 2Listen without fixing. Just say things like “That sounds hard” or “That sounds fun.”
3. 3Take turns asking one question each, such as “What was something that surprised you today?”
4. 4Notice what makes it easier or harder to share, and ask your child what would help.

Talk about it

• When do you feel most like talking?
• What makes it easier to tell me about something that’s bothering you?
• What could I do to be easier to talk to?

This week, pick one regular time to connect, such as a walk, a car ride, or bedtime. Keep it short, and don’t pressure. When your child shares something, thank them and listen.